Optimism is a Cause Worth Fighting For

Four negative biases keep pushing us toward pessimism, cynicism, and defeatism. Most of us have no desire to feel or think negatively but we do it anyway, usually against our will. Why is negativity so difficult to resist? Because the negative biases are built into our brains and the biases are a fixed and inevitable part of the nature of reality.

Pessimism and negativity function like viruses or lampreys, sucking the life out of our naturally buoyant natures. The four negative biases are:

1. the brain's negative bias
2. communication's negative bias
3. reality's negative bias
4. the media's negative bias

Most of us believe we are not pessimistic. But everyone, including you, no matter how hard we have have worked to rid ourselves of it, still has vestiges of the infection still lurking in our minds, and the negative biases are constantly having their influence on us.

The battle for optimism is a lifelong fight, like an epic clash between Good and Evil, taking place in your own mind and in the world at large.

Whether you want it or not, you are playing a role in the battle between strength-giving optimism and insidious, debilitating pessimism. The never-ending battle is noble and worthy and inspiring. When it doesn't feel that way — when it feels like a burden or a hopeless struggle — it is only because of the negativity that infects your thoughts, which you can clean out right now.

If you let these forces (the four negative biases) drive you down into pessimism, cynicism, or defeatism, it has consequences for you personally, and for the people around you. Pessimism is bad for your health, it interferes with your ability to persist and accomplish your goals, and it feels bad.

Your own negativity has the same (but milder) impact on your friends and family (moods, emotions, and thinking-styles are somewhat contagious). Your pessimism or lack of it will strongly influence the explanatory style of your children, influencing their persistence and ability to learn and achieve throughout their lives.

But you, of course, can do something about all of this. You can remove pessimism from your own mind. And you can help others remove it from their minds. And you can also spread the word to the world in general about both the negative biases and their consequences, and also about the undemoralizing technology.

We can restore our lost motivation and bring back the health, the good feelings, the determination, and the energy that was once native to our minds. You know in your heart this is a cause worth fighting for. Never give up.

People Who Bring You Down

One of the most important sources of pessimism in anyone's life is negative people. You may tell someone your goal, and either by their face or tone of voice or what they say, you're left with the feeling that your dreams are pipe dreams and you're never going to make it. Or they just put you in a bad mood because they talk about negative things (or talk about positive things from a pessimistic or cynical viewpoint).

All people who bring you down are not created equal. They can be distinguished by their intentions.

One kind of person who brings you down, and probably the kind you've run into most, only brings you down because they themselves are down (because their thoughts are habitually pessimistic). They don't really intend to bring you down. It brings you down to be around them only because emotions are contagious. The first thing to try with these people is to convince them to give up their pessimistic ways. Learn the material in Undemoralize Yourself very well, and then teach it to them. If they don't want to hear it, the next best thing you can do is talk to them very little, and when you do, be vague. Read more about that here.

Another kind of person who brings you down is an emotional manipulator. They try to control you by changing your emotions in whatever way will help them accomplish their purposes. If it helps them to make you happy, they'll make you happy. If it helps them to make you feel guilty, they'll do that. Here's a good article on that. The best thing you can do with these people is learn to recognize it, and avoid them completely (or if you can't avoid them, talk to them very little and be vague).

Another person who might bring you down is someone who is jealous of your success or talent and doesn't want you to succeed. As soon as you recognize this one, their negativity won't take the wind out of your sails anymore. Somehow the negative feeling is balanced out because jealousy is a kind of compliment. And you will sometimes feel compassion for them.

And another kind of person, luckily a very small percentage of people, are sociopaths. Only about one to four percent of the population are sociopaths (meaning they don't have normal feelings of empathy for others). The only way to win with them is to get them out of your life completely, even if they are family members. Read more about that here.

In the quest to rid yourself of unnecessary negative emotions, in your ongoing quest to feel lots of healthy, positive emotions, this is an important topic. People who bring you down are the most significant source of negative feelings and pessimistic beliefs you have. You might have more input from media sources, but personal relationships have more influence.

You may not have someone in your life right now who brings you down. I hope you don't. But if you do, take it seriously. Try to figure out what their intentions are, and decide how to deal with them. Do not let them continue to bring you down. Their influence can make you more pessimistic over time.

So take care of it and then concentrate your time and attention on the relationships that bring you up.